ad-nauseam

ROUND 3

(4) Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney and Wings vs. (6) Dominick the Donkey by Lou Monte

This is Paul McCartney we’re talking about here, a Beatle, sinking this low. It’s painful to hear every time.

So this is worse than “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer?” It is really annoying, and I cannot stand animal sounds in songs.

ROUND 2

(1) Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aid vs. (4) Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney and Wings

What’s worse? A valiant attempt at sincerity that comes off as privileged…

Or a lazy attempt at a Christmas cash-in that comes off as lazy?

 (2) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer by Elmo and Patsy vs. (6) Dominick the Donkey by Lou Monte

Which creature feature do you hate more? At the #2 seed, it’s an upbeat ditty about Santa’s deer actually killing someone.

And at the #6 seed, we have an incredibly annoying tune about a donkey that helps Santa out. Pick your poison.

ROUND 1

Today we look at those songs the radio just won’t let go. Every year, we have to hear these songs over and over, and even if we don’t mind them the first time, they just become too much.

(1) Do They Know It’s Christmas by Band Aid vs. (8) Fairytale of New York by The Pogues and Kirsty MacColl

Once the best selling single of all time in the UK (seriously), “Do They Know It’s Christmas” would be a harmless charity song if the lyrics actually had thought put into them. Instead, lines like “Tonight thank God it’s them instead of you” make the song come off as selfish and really not all that charitable.

Although it often makes lists of the best modern Christmas songs, apparently some people hate this one. It’s overplayed sure, but I really like this duet between The Pogues and Irish singer Kirsty MacColl. “Fairytale” is really sad and perhaps a tad overdone, but nowhere near as overdone as the #1 seed it’s facing off against.

(4) Wonderful Christmastime by Paul McCartney and Wings vs. (5) Happy Xmas (War is Over) by John Lennon and Yoko Ono

Yep, it’s the battle of the Beatles. First up, it’s “Wonderful Christmastime,” a song that Paul McCartney has made over $15 million on since its release (almost enough for Heather Mills’ monthly alimony). An abundance of synthesizers that sound out of tune and a children’s choir that also sounds of tune (Highly doubtful they’ve practiced all year long) lead to one of Christmas’ most annoying numbers.

And in this corner, we’ve got John Lennon’s Christmas anthem. Lennon and Yoko Ono released this protest song in 1971 (the war wasn’t over yet), and it gets about as many plays as McCartney’s “Wonderful Christmastime.” I suppose it just depends… do you prefer a song about ending war or a song so bad that it’s bound to start one? Your choice.

(3) Last Christmas by Wham! vs. (6) Dominick the Donkey by Lou Monte

Maybe it’s the fact that my job plays THREE SEPARATE VERSIONS of this song that makes it drive me up a wall, but I’m sure I’m not the only one. Why does everyone feel the need to cover this? It’s such a dated ’80s song with George Michael’s breathy vocals and cringy rhyming (“Merry Christmas, I wrapped it up and sent it/With a note saying ‘I Love You,’ I meant it.”).This one needs to be given away for good.

Why does this tepid children’s song get played over-and-over every year? It’s cute enough the first time, but no one wants to hear this every day. There needs to be a hefty fine imposed on any song that includes animal noises in its lyrics.

 (2) Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer by Elmo and Patsy vs. (7) Feliz Navidad by Jose Feliciano

Perhaps the only Christmas song about vehicular homicide, “Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer” is one of those songs that no one over the age of 15 really finds funny. I’ve actually read a theory that the reason the singers are so upbeat about Grandma’s recent demise is that a member of the family murdered Grandma, and this is their agreed-upon cover story. Either way, we’re all tired of hearing the story.

This one is hit with a double whammy of being very repetitive and very overplayed, but it’s not all that bad. Jose Feliciano’s vocal is at least impassioned, and it’s catchy enough before you realize the thing has a total of about ten words.

As always, 24 hours to vote. The tweets are embedded above from my @matchupmovies account.

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