(2) Funky Funky Christmas by New Kids on the Block vs.(5) I’ll Be a Gnome for Christmas by Art Paul Schlosser
Apparently boy band funk is worse than cheesy reggae, but is “Funky Funky Christmas” the worst song in the wildcard division?
Something really cool happened the other day. In a first for this tournament, one of the artists actually reached out to me.
Mr. Schlosser, you may have one of the worst Christmas songs of all time, but you are a class act. This made my day.
(1) Mistletoe by Justin Bieber vs. (5) I’ll Be a Gnome for Christmas by Art Paul Schlosser
One of the biggest sweeps of the tournament thus far (shocker), Justin Bieber’s terrible Christmas diddy now faces off against a song that might just be so-bad-it’s good.
The view count on this video has nearly doubled since I posted the link. Let’s try to triple it.
(2) Funky Funky Christmas by New Kids on the Block vs. (3) Yellow Christmas by Yellowman
In both showdowns here, we have a somewhat famously bad pop song…
going up against a potentially worse but much lesser known song. What will it be?
For our final round one match-ups, we have the songs that don’t necessarily fit any other category but deserve to be here nonetheless. These tunes are wildly offensive.
(1) Mistletoe by Justin Bieber vs. (8) Who Spiked the Eggnog by Straight No Chaser
The whole chorus is “With you, shawty with you/With you, shawty with you/With you, under the mistletoe.” Even for a Christmas song, that’s terrible.
Straight No Chaser is the a Capella group with those cool songs your friends kept posting on Facebook a few years ago. This is not one of them.
(4) Christmas Conga by Cyndi Lauper vs. (5) I’ll Be a Gnome for Christmas by Art Paul Schlosser
This is far worse than its title and artist would suggest. Lauper clearly lost a bet.
I’m not sure if this is a Dylan impression or it’s just terrible.
(3) Yellow Christmas by Yellowman vs. (6) Do You Hear What I Hear
You could listen to this a million times and not make out half of the lyrics. He’s clearly just singing over a karaoke track… but somehow this warranted a whole album of “Yellow” Christmas carols.
I actually never thought this song was even remotely bad until Tim Hawkins pointed out how stupid it was. He says it better than I ever will.
(2) Funky Funky Christmas by New Kids on the Block vs. (7) 2000 Miles by The Pretenders
This is the most embarrassing thing Donnie Wahlberg ever did, and he was in Zookeeper with Kevin James. This is just painful.
This one’s made at least one list of the worst Christmas songs. I’m not sure why, but it has.
24 hours to vote for the worst!